“What’s a good Easter movie to see?” tweeted comedian Graham Clark. I tried to think of a movie, probably an older movie, that held up but had tenuous links to the holidays. All of three seconds later I was tweeting back, “Life of Brian?” Clark later tweeted that of the Easter movie suggestions he received, the best one was Ghostbusters.

Random, but I can see where he’s coming from.

There has been a lot of talk lately about the possibility of a third Ghostbusters movie, the kind of chatter that only firms the chances of its being made as producers cash in on “the buzz”. Bill Murray of the original aforementioned ‘Busters has made his stance clear. No dice from the Venkman. This hasn’t stopped the speculation, mostly jokes like “He’s just holding out for assurances that the movie will be awful.” And why the hell would he want to do it anyway, he’s too busy of making movies with sophisticates like Jim Jarmusch, Sofia Copolla, Wes Anderson and… Ruben Fleischer.

On the topic, I know Tinseltown is full of stories, but do you know who was supposed to be the celebrity cameo in Zombieland before Murray got the part? Patrick Swaze. The story goes that he was approached with the idea of playing himself in the movie as a celebrity pretending to be a zombie and hiding out from the lurching hoarde with plenty of knowing references (“No one puts baby in a corner!” etc). Sadly with the grip of his cancer ever tightening it was considered inappropriate that his last role be a man imitating the undead and the movie was recast. Such a shame, that’s Showbiz I guess. Swaze passed away of Pancreatic cancer, the same kind my mother had – so that’s two amazing things it has deprived me of. Asshole.

I recent times, just as strong as Murray’s original refusal to participate in GB3 are some new whispers that he is now playing coy, now calling it “a possibility”. He’s holding out for money, most people thought. He’s asking for so much that they won’t pay him, which makes sense because essentially he doesn’t want to do it – was my assumption. Surely they can’t do it without him, I would like to think that Dan Ackroyd learnt his lesson on that turd biscuit Blues Brothers 2000. So they need a pretty great hook to get him to do it, but what? These are the kind of stuff that keeps the wheels turning in my head as I lie awake at night, or take a shower, or staring blankly at your mouth as you drone on and on about your favorite fucking reality TV show.

Murray doesn’t want to do it – and everyone knows it. Fine. Let’s start the movie with a funeral, or rememberance of acknowledging the passing of Dr Peter Venkman. It’s not uncommon for movie series to kill of their characters when contractual problems get in the way (sometimes called Sudden Sequel Death Syndrome). For a dramatic example, consider Austin Powers 2 where Austin’s newly-wed bride turns out to be a robot before exploding and, just like that, Liz Hurley is upgraded to the more shaggable Heather Graham (yeah baby!). So Murray’s character is dead, and Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis and the black guy (jk, I know it’s Ernie Hudson) set about revitalizing their business.

New York has changed a lot in twenty years, imagine the potential! The Ghostbusters mark II could take on the ghosts of the terrorists who brought down the Twin Towers, maybe convert the Occupy crowd, their handmade signs first showing dollar signs with red circles and crosses through them before later triumphantly changing to the iconic Ghostbusters logo. In the middle of the movie is the scene in which the new Ghostbusters have to prove their worth with a challenging… bust (where is Lesley Neilson when you need him?). Usually these set pieces just illustrate the hero’s skills and set the tone for the final act, basically the same thing but more perilous. Think of the central action scene in The Avengers, critics are right to say it doesn’t advance the story, but it’s wrong to say it serves no purpose. For the Ghostbusters, things are not quite falling in to place, their ringmaster is missing, until – wait for it – they hear a voice telling them how to catch their target. But how? He’s dead? That’s right… Venkman comes back as a fucking ghost.

Just let the idea sink in. Murray could lead the team from the ghosts point of view, go where they go, fly through walls yelling directions to his compadres, maybe even getting his revenge on Slimer (FYI, he’s never referred to as such, even though it’s commonly accepted to be his name). Is it really such a crazy idea? Yes. Ok, but is it the worst idea you’ve ever heard? That’s probably another Yes. Let’s be honest though, if done right Ghostbusters 3 could be brilliant, but it’ll probably be completely rubbish. With the recent hysteria over the possible Ferris Bueller sequel (turned out to be a car ad, ha!) my pessimistic side was on display. “Rod stop hating on everything! It could be good.”

Yes, it could be. Unfortunately the track record of “late franchise sequels” is extremely poor, so please don’t expect me to get all giddy in the gills about something until I can see that the writers have brought something original, peculiar or unexpected to the table. Let’s do something really unusual, like hire Aaron Sorkin to write it, or cast William Shatner as the antatognist, or even stranger than those… let’s hire someone apart from Emma Stone to play the female lead – she’s over-exposed, don’t you think?